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Questions to Ask Before Getting Married in Nigeria
Love brings you together, but honest conversations keep you together. These are the questions every couple should talk through before the introduction, the traditional wedding and the white wedding.
💬 Why these talks matter
In Nigeria, a marriage joins two families, not just two people. Expectations about money, children, faith, in-laws and roles are often assumed rather than discussed — and that is where many conflicts start. Asking early is not a sign of doubt; it is a sign that you take the marriage seriously.
Beforethe introduction is the best time
Honestanswers beat “correct” answers
Bothfamilies’ expectations count
🙏 Faith, values and roles
⛪
Faith and worship
Will we attend the same church or mosque? How will we raise our children in faith? What if one of us becomes more or less religious?
Values
🏠
Roles at home
Who cooks, cleans and does school runs when both of us work? What did each of us see growing up, and what do we want to do differently?
Daily life
💼
Careers and relocation
Are we both going to work? Would we relocate for a job — or japa abroad? Who decides?
Future
👶 Children and family
👨👩👧
Children
Do we both want children? How many, and when? What would we do if we struggled to conceive?
Big one
👵
In-laws and extended family
How often will relatives visit or stay? How will we handle pressure or advice we don’t agree with?
Boundaries
🧾
Family support
Do either of us support parents or siblings financially? How much, and will it continue after marriage?
Money
💡
Agree on a united front
Talk about what happens when families disagree with your decisions. A couple that agrees to stand together — respectfully — avoids many painful fights later.
💰 Money questions
How much do we each earn and owe?
Joint account, separate accounts or both?
Who pays for what — rent, food, school fees?
How much do we want to save each month?
Who pays for the wedding, and how big should it be?
Many Nigerian churches and mosques encourage couples to do medical tests before marriage — especially genotype (AA, AS, SS), blood group and HIV status. Knowing your genotypes helps you understand the chance of having a child with sickle cell disease, so you can make informed decisions with medical advice. Talk about mental health and any long-term conditions too.
✅
About genotype
Two people who carry the sickle cell trait (AS) can still marry, but they should speak to a doctor or genetic counsellor first so they understand the risks and options.
🤝 Conflict and commitment
How do we fight fairly?No insults, no silent treatment for days, no involving outsiders before talking to each other.
What are our deal-breakers?Cheating, violence, lying about money? Say them clearly now.
Who can we go to for help?Agree on trusted counsellors, pastors, imams or elders — before trouble comes.
How will we keep the love alive?Date nights, prayer together, small surprises — decide what matters to both of you.
⚠️
Take red flags seriously
If your partner is violent, controlling or threatening before marriage, it rarely gets better after. Talk to someone you trust, and put your safety first.
💬
Join the conversation
Which question do you wish you had asked before marriage? · Should couples do premarital counselling before every wedding?
Frequently asked questions
Is genotype testing important before marriage?
Yes. Knowing both partners’ genotypes helps couples understand the risk of having a child with sickle cell disease, so they can decide with proper medical advice.
When should couples discuss money?
Before the introduction or engagement is best, so expectations about income, debts, family support and wedding costs are clear from the start.
What is the most important question before marriage?
There is no single question, but values, children, money and how you handle conflict are the areas where couples most often disagree later.
Written by the askJBoss team from public information and our own research; last updated October 2026. Prices, dates and rules change — always confirm with the official source. Spotted something that has changed? Tell us in the comments.
